2:03am

It’s only as the flames start bursting through the windows that I start to feel regret. I didn’t think about where I would go. I had nothing outside those walls – nobody. My whole life was dwindling away in flames and smoke. The night sky was sprayed with orange, and even against the darkness I could see the black clouds of smoke, choking the fucking stars. I couldn’t call this justice. In my fire, people died, and people lost everything. It was my fault – but I needed it. I needed to see it burn and I needed to escape. If people had to suffer for my happiness, so be it. I’m not in this game for anyone but myself.
Life isn’t about caring, it’s about surviving.
I’m going into my thought process because you need to hear it. I’m not as cold or as thoughtless as people think me to be – I do worry and fret, and I do think about what I’m doing. The difference between you and me, and most of the other kids is that I really don’t give a shit in how things turn out, as long as I’m still standing pretty in the playground when the game is over. I don’t think words can truly express my indifference towards people other than myself. I don’t think people ever really believe me when I say I don’t give a fuck about anyone. Hate is the wrong word. Hate is still passion, it’s still devotion, of a different kind. Which is why I don’t mind when people hate me. And you know, the people i choose to care about with my full intentions are the ones that i adore completely and utterly. The rest, You’re all annoying, worthless fuckers and I’d sooner tip a bullet from my gun to your face than offer you a drink.