day seven.

Your Ex-boyfriend/love/crush

If i were to erase one thing regarding you out of my life it wouldn't be you, it wouldn't be the way i felt about you, but it would be the way i feel about you. the way i feel about you now. i hate myself for getting so tied up in the thought of you - just you really - you have absolutely no fucking clue how you've driven me to question myself, my decisions, the way i see things. there's a point where i wish i could just stop and say "this is it, i wont let myself get hooked in, this is as far as i'll go" but it would never happen, no matter how hard i could try and convince myself that i can see that invisible boundary, it wouldn't, and i know that. And i wish i could just spill everything out to you, but there's no way i could ever have the courage. i could hardly even say hi to you when i saw you, let alone break myself apart to tell you how i feel, or felt.

“It is no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reason. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that's dear to you? Even when you like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It's so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can't say the things you want to.”